Megalom-Amy-a. A story about my encounter with a megalomaniac.

Megalomania (from the Greek word μεγαλομανία) is a psychopathological condition characterised by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence - often generally termed as delusions of grandeur. It includes an obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions. It is sometimes symptomatic of manic or paranoid disorders,

or to put it in a simpler term,

Someone who is unrealistically favorable in their perception of self, and rather disproportionate comparison when referring to others.

Have you ever known anybody fitting those criteria? I have. It's upsetting, frustrating, takes a toll on your health and downright scary. Her name? Well, let's just call her Amy.

I have been blessed with a strong instinct that i call char-dar (character radar) which works when I meet new people. My char-dar warns me if I meet someone who will not be good for me, and encourages me to befriend anyone who is more or less on a similar wavelength. I know it sounds loony, but so far, it's proven to be very accurate.

When I first met Amy, she seemed very nice, but my char-dar was giving me code red. I thought that maybe this time char-dar is not working properly, and I chose to ignore it and went ahead befriending her. Plus so many people I know told me she is "an angel" (little did I know, the term "angel" thrown around to describe her was said in a sarcastic vein.. but keep on reading, you will understand after several more paragraphs).

She likes to comments on other people, often about their bad than good traits. But I thought that the people she comments on were not so nice anyway, and I chose to believe that it wasn't more than the usual gossip. But the more and more I know her, the more intense her comments become. It wasn't even harmless commenting anymore, it was like she was feeding me her thoughts and trying to form my opinions on other people. Trying to get me on board on her judgments although more often than not, I disagree with her take on other people. Of course I don’t show her that I disagree with her, partly because I always try to avoid confrontations, but mostly because I fear her and what she was capable of.

Why do I fear her you might ask? Well, a. she is much older than me, and I try to respect her as much as I seemingly can, b. I thought she had a strong influence over our social circle and to anger her and turn me into an outcast would be a disaster (I have seen this happen to another girl). c. I try to practice the saying "keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer". It is logical and it's true.

We hang out a lot, and we gossip a lot like all women do. But there is something strange in our daily conversations. She loves to talk and tell stories, she interrupts when other people talk, and she never pay attention to other people’s stories – except those she thinks are important or who can benefit her. In short, our conversations consists of mainly her talking and me listening.

One game that she often plays is being "the hopeless victim". When something goes wrong and someone blames her (which, most of the time - unsurprisingly I might add, is where the blame truly belongs) she will tell anybody who is willing to listen that she is used to being the blacksheep anywhere, that it is a test from God, that God knows she is innocent, that God will punish the people wronging her and that God will give her what she deserves (for the last part, I surely hope that she will get what she deserves :p). The funny thing is, she tries to appear as a victim, but at the end of the story, she will always appear arrogant and full of herself. I mean, to think that God and an angel is always on your side, (PUHLEEZE!) that you are always right, people are always wrong and out to get you. How arrogant is that?

Not only is she arrogant, Amy is also very competitive. She likes it when people like her better than somebody else, she thrives on people depending on her, and she makes sure people depend on her. I secretly think she gets orgasms from it. She likes to over eagerly help people, and just like a loan shark, collect them for favors afterwards. When people can't do things she asks from them, she will talk about them being ungrateful and in the process, ruin their reputations. I try to show her that I sometimes depend on her for things that in fact I am very capable of. It’s nice to make other people feel good about themselves, right? Seeing as she harms people she doesn’t need anymore, or people she feels are threatening and generally people who wont fight back, I know that this way I will be safe from harm. Well, I thought wrong.

A couple of months ago she started bullying me like she does to a lot of people. You might think that a barely 5”4 and 120 lbs woman is capable of bullying a 5”8, 180 lbs woman who is almost two decades her junior. But it’s true. She is starting to play mental games on me. I decided that it is the end of our so-called friendship. I refuse to be bullied but too chicken to confront her (people who know me in real life can attest that although I appear very strong and very intimidating, I am actually a softie at heart who cries a lot and can’t even kill a fly. Seriously, I cant even kill a fly) so I chose to stay quiet, distance myself from her and just stay out of her way. I think she realizes things have changed, but instead of asking me what is wrong, she practices her “ass-holier than thou” attitude, righteousness and moral superiority and assumes that the mistake MUST be at my end.

I recently started hanging out with new people, people I don't normally hang out with. It wasn't planned, it was very random. Funny enough, one day, the topic was Amy. these people are also seniors so unlike me, they do not fear her. They started talking about her, and incidents that occurred in the past involving her, some were unbelievable unethical and some were very, very funny. Then I realised, I don't need to be afraid of her anymore. She is just a human being after all, and unlike my initial thought about her great having influence over our social circle and the society (our society) in general, she has not. A lot of people knew her for what she really is, and they aren't fooled by her pretense. At last I feel that I am not alone anymore. Yes, it was so bad, she was making me depressed and the depression has taken a toll on my health. My acid reflux came back stronger than ever, and as a result my gastric band had to be deflated which led to my 20 lbs weight gain. (damn her!)

Despite all the horrible things I have experienced, one good thing came out of this whole thing. UNO.

Everytime I see her face (which is very, very frequent), I am reminded to protect myself so that I don’t become like her, an arrogant and sinister old witch who wanted to be so much more than who she is, feeling like a failure and then blames the whole world for it, taking her frustration out by victimizing unsuspecting people just for her own personal enjoyment. I really don’t want to be like that. It has been a long and painful lesson, but at least I learned.

Seriously guys, if you ever find me in similar vein, just tell me point blank that i am being obnoxious of full of myself, or you can always slap me. Don't spank me though, that is reserved for my hubby only. :p